scrambled eggs

Today I had the urge to cook scrambled eggs. Now, here's the thing. Normal times, I just boil or fry eggs. I've never actually prepared scrambled eggs. I've stewed a fucking possum in tomato and capsicum sauce. I've roasted a very fine duck. I've never cooked scrambled eggs, though.

Gordon Ramsay says you should beat the eggs in a saucepan as opposed to a bowl. It's unclear why. My theory is that his dishwashing lackey had taken the day off when he was filming that episode of ... whatever show that YouTube clip was from. So I did. I beat 6 eggs (for two people) with a sizable knob of butter, some minced garlic, a grind of black pepper (but not salt) and a splash of milk (you could use cream but if you do, you'll want to cut back the number of eggs as it'll be disgustingly rich) in a small, non-stick saucepan and cooked it over a low heat, stirring gently but constantly, until the mixture began to cook. You don't want to be eating rubbery eggs. Rubbery eggs are sad, sad, tragically sad things. What you want to do is cook until the egg whites have just set. When it's almost there, even, you can turn the heat off. The residual heat in the pan and the eggs will carry it the rest of the way. The end result should be very rich. Season it with salt and pepper and, if you feel it right, a few drips of Tabasco.

And of course you need bacon. I suggest roasting it.